My Taurus

I have always been a firm believer in astrology. Any time I have gotten into a relationship and read about how our signs and how they are together it has literally been on point. Of course as humans in love we tend to ignore the red flags even when reading about other’s zodiac signs and compatibility. I’ve done it time and time again thinking the good will always outweigh the bad and I am proved wrong just about every time.

I am a Cancer. My emotions control everything. My life, my thoughts and my relationships. I literally take everything to heart because from my point of view one does not say or do something without thinking about it first or having an emotional connection to it. A coworker could walk past me and not say anything and my immediate thought would be that they’re upset with me or that I did something wrong. From that point on the wheels start turning and never stop until they do or say something that assures me my thinking is wrong. Now, i’m sure you can imagine how this plays into my romantic relationships.

I’m needy. I need a whole lot of attention and affection but most of all assurance, all of the time. This doesn’t work with just anyone though. Most zodiac signs can’t tolerate it…so I’ve learned. People get sick of me easy and want space. I do not do space! Especially since I constantly need assurance. Now, here’s where it gets interesting. Being a cancer my alias is a crab. Meaning I have a hard shell with soft insides. Most people say I look unapproachable. I don’t smile much unless i’m beyond ecstatic. I look rough around the edges and I don’t talk much unless i’m wicked comfortable around you which takes a lot of time. In a relationship it takes a lot to crack my shell and sometimes I will still behind the pieces once you break it. Cracking my shell takes a lot of effort. Once you get through it though I have nothing but love and affection behind it. Sure, I can be a smart mouthed asshole sometimes and get a little cold but hey, I never said I was perfect.

For a cancer being in a relationship security is the absolute most important thing. That’s where the constant assurance falls into place…that is unless it’s a common shared need between your sign and your partner’s sign. The other zodiac sign that shares the common need for stability like a cancer is a Taurus. Have I known this all along since I started dating to begin with? Yes. Do you think I ever sought one out? No. Here I am though at 26 with a Taurus. Finally. She also has never been with a Cancer and has always wanted to.

From the moment she let me know she was into me everything just fell into place. She lived in New Jersey and here I am in Massachusetts. This could have been a ruining factor because let’s face it, a small percentage of long distance relationships actually last but we made it work. Spending weekends together every month or so sometimes in Boston or New York and places in between, texting all day and night, video chatting, sending pictures and showing our love for each other all over social media. Now, 6 months later and she is living here in Massachusetts with me. She was supposed to come visit for a weekend at my house and she didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want her to either. It just felt right. So, she stayed. If I thought I was attached before well, now I’m attached even more.

I’ve never been a believer in it taking a certain amount of time for you to fall in love with someone or that things are supposed to take place at a certain point in a relationship. If you feel it then you go with it. Period. I fell for her fast. In weeks. How could I not? She’s a cute little Latina with curly hair and a huge beautiful smile. She listens to Sade, Deftones and knows everything about hip hop history. She’s into spirituality, horoscopes and ancient Egyptian culture. She even has a fascination with serial killers. She has the most innocent look but her insides are as dark and twisted as mine. Then you have the way she makes me feel. Alive, stable and so fucking in love. This woman can calm my temper and make me want to be better. She listens and cares. She always tells me how much she believes in me, in us and makes it a point to give me positive outlooks when all I see is hell in front of me. This is someone who truly has my best interest at heart. If she tells me something I never have to second guess it. The trust and respect is just there. For once in my life I am in a healthy relationship. No type of abuse, no using me, no making me feel like shit all of the time. The connection is amazing and the attraction is out of this world. She literally is everything I have ever wanted in someone and who thought it’d come in a 4’11’ package? haha.

I am so glad that I have finally found my Taurus. This may come off as a girlfriend appreciation post or maybe a way to convince you just how accurate astrology can be. Take it as you will.

-JayZamora

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10/6

The lustful taste of every sin you’ve committed is masked by your innocent face.

I had to ruin you from the inside out.

I had to destroy any innocence left behind by those who couldn’t reach your soul.

I had to dig deep…deeper and deeper until you reached your climax at my demand.

Your innocence poured onto me.

Your taste so pure and sweet.

Your eyes staring into mine told me that every ounce of your being would always be at my disposal.

After all, I see right through to the real you.

To the world you’re everything but the woman you are when I dominate you.

-JayZamora

& my universe became complete once i found safety in your touch

I have never had my body pushed to its limit or screamed with such passion before

You completely destroyed me and filled me up like a cup in dire need of wine

I am yours and yours alone

Touched in ways only you have mastered

And expertly carried out for my frame alone

Love in its most twisted and loyal form

My body still sore from your digging

And my heart is ripped out from its comfortable cavity

Beating alongside yours

A rhythm soulful and deep

I belong to you In every sense

Marked forever and for an eternity

-writerfromjersey

Energy

Energy can be transferred…

The way you look at me, the glow on your skin, the way you smile…I feel it in my stomach.
Your hand in mine, your head on my chest and your arms wrapped around me…I feel it in the depths of my soul.
Your lips against mine, your hands on my face, your stare when you open your eyes…I feel it in my heart.

Every bit of emotion you feel when you’re with me, I feel it too.
As soon as your body touches mine every ounce of love you’ve ever felt for me, I feel it too.
Every word that slips off of your lips that escaped your heart, I feel it too.

Your energy keeps me grounded when my head is lost in the stars.
When you’re around your energy becomes mine…

But it can never be destroyed.

-JayZamora

Bleeding hearts

Love is hard, painful.

You give your heart to someone thinking they’ll care for it the way you would theirs and in the end they give it back to you completely destroyed….a hundred stab wounds and what seems to be a never ending stream of blood.

You have to now sew up every cut and reattach it hoping it’ll heal and work the same again. It won’t though…your heart will never completely heal because scars never go away and all you need is for someone to open those same wounds again.

Now, every time you give your heart away you have to worry if they’ll just reopen those old wounds…who wants a heart full of scars anyways? Who wants a damaged heart when there’s thousands of whole healthy ones to choose from that you don’t have to worry about being careful with? Hearts that haven’t been broken, hearts that beat like they’re supposed to. No one wants the challenge of taking care of the wounded one.

Can you blame them? It’s messy…but if you take care of it that bleeding heart will love you more than any whole one could. I hope you don’t mind a little blood.

-JayZamora

Kintsugi

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of filling broken Pottery with gold.

There’s this quote I see all the time about how when you drop a plate it shatters and you cannot fix it because it’s broken right? Then it goes on to say that when you break someone’s heart it is the same…that no matter how many times you apologize for your mistakes that the damage is done so basically you can’t do anything to fix it.

So in that sense you would give up on it and throw it away right? Stick with me here. Say for instance someone else picks up the pieces of the plate and puts it back together by filling the cracks with gold. The plate is now not only fixed but looks better and is worth more. Now using the same analogy with a heart the next person would “fix the broken pieces by filling it with gold”. The gold could symbolize love, trust, respect and happiness.

I assume you get how this all ties together now but in case you don’t basically what I’m saying is when someone breaks your heart and gives up on you that the next person may be willing to take those pieces and put them back together with something much better because of course you can’t take back or fix someone else’s mistakes (the dropping of the plate) but you can do what it takes to instill something more valuable into them. When I read about things I try to figure out how they could potentially fit into my life or what I can learn from it and this is what I got from reading about this Japanese tradition.

-JayZamora

Have you ever tried loving a broken soul?

Have you ever tried to love a broken soul?
Her emotions are like the ocean waves, deep and always in motion
But her wall is so high up you’ll never get the chance to swim
Bittersweet…don’t climb and you don’t have to risk drowning or put in the work and show her your devotion
Have you ever tried to love a broken soul?
Her eyes are heavy and tired
Her face is solid and cold
Her mind has been rewired
Her heart stopped beating a long time ago
Have you ever tried to love a broken soul?
She’ll push you away over and over again
She’ll remind you she doesn’t need you every day
She’ll tell you if you hurt her there’s no making amends
She’ll leave you like you never mattered to your dismay
Have you ever tried to love a broken soul?
Her eyes will pull you in, her smile will make you never want to leave
Her voice will soothe you and her words will never leave your mind
Her laugh will give you butterflies like you wouldn’t believe
Her openness, the way she feels and thinks are a rare find
Have you ever tried to love a broken soul?
Comfort her, hold her tight and make her feel safe
Keep your word and reassure her you’ll always stick by her side
Listen to her and never speak to her with words of hate
Always keep a smile on her face and never put her feelings aside
Have you ever tried to love a broken soul?
If you’re different than the rest, prove it.
She’s worth it.
Put in the effort, the time and pour all of your love into it.
She’s worth it.
Break that wall down and dive in head first.
She’ll make sure you don’t drown once she realizes you too, are worth it.
-JayZamora

Her lust. Your love. My revenge.

You tell her you love her she returns it with an “I love you too”

Poor thing you take it to heart but I laugh cus her and I know its untrue

May I ask do you like all the attention she gives you? It’s only yours cus she finally realized i’m through

Do you wonder why her eyes are tightly shut when you kiss?

Simply cus shes thinking of my lips

It’s sad the sight of your face ruins her bliss

A beautiful thing ruined cus she likes to reminisce

I’m sorry, did you think love is what you make?

If that’s love then your presence is simply a mistake

In between her thighs is where I used to rest my face

Now when you go down my spit is all you taste

Her moans are no longer a reaction And your bodies collide without a passion

So what am I supposed to be jealous of?

Sex is all you get while you give her love

You wanted her so bad so take her, she is yours to keep

Just know she lies and cheats

If you don’t want to get played keep an eye open when you sleep

Lust only goes so far so your love and her heart will never meet

Stupid girl she let love be interfered by a lustful like

So now suffer together cus neither of you are worth the fight

What an actress, a scandalous liar but little do you know

Are you so naive to believe shes the one who let me go?

-JayZamora